By Vanessa G., Guest Contributor
Let’s be REAL for a real quick second. You need to be absolutely honest with yourself- no one else, just YOU. I need you to not care what your mom thinks, what your sister thinks, what the next door neighbor thinks, or what anyone else on the face of this planet thinks. I need you to be painstakingly honest with YOU!
Ready? Let’s go.
How many of you absolutely miss the beautiful you before mama? The woman who had it all together. The woman who had time for herself. The woman who could sleep through the night. The woman who could put on a clean pair of clothes at the beginning of the day and not have to change by 9am. The woman who had a real name and wasn't called mama by every single person she knows.
She also had time to fix her hair, put on the right amount of makeup and know all the secret tips for covering up the wrinkles she used to think she had. The woman who could walk into a room and make every head turn because she was THAT woman.
But then you fell in love and became preggo with a little peanut and suddenly: welcome to motherhood! The me in mommy quickly went away because now you weren’t just thinking about yourself; you were constantly thinking about this little human being growing inside of you.
Is he/she okay?
Did I eat enough today?
Did I eat too much?
You’re concerned about everything under the sun and the spotlight on you goes away. Fast forward nine months and you have given birth. If you thought you were a crazy mom before, forget it. A whole new level of purpose just overcame you. With the first cry, you are in love and would do anything to protect this precious human being.
Six weeks later, you are more in love than ever. Yes you are downright exhausted. Tired from not sleeping hardly ever and tired because even when you want to sleep, you’re worried about your child. So the woman who was constantly caught up in herself has shifted her focus on someone else, someone she loves way more than she ever could’ve imagined.
But what about you, mama? What’s your name? Do you still remember YOU?
Motherhood is wonderfully beautiful and perfectly messy at the same time. But it’s okay to miss the woman you were before mama. It’s okay to want her back, even if it’s only for an hour. It’s okay to want that perfect hair again (remember, the hair that didn’t fall out or change color?).
These are normal feelings because I’ll be honest with you, I miss her too.
I get so frustrated with myself for only ever having the energy to put my hair up in a bun. I also get frustrated with myself that the most makeup I can manage on a given day is a little bit of eye shadow and mascara. And when it’s time to get dressed up, the dressiest thing I can think about is something else besides a pair of yoga pants and it’s. freaking. hard.
So where are YOU?
Have you lost yourself in the craziness of motherhood? Taking care of little human beings is a full-time job. I know you know this but saying it reinforces my point: taking care of little people is a full-time job! It never ends. Even at the end of the day, you struggle with yourself by either wanting to stay up to get work done or finally go to sleep.
Believe in YOU!
Don’t forget that before baby(s) came around, there was a YOU. You loved you so much–don’t forget that. Take time for you and care of you. If putting on makeup everyday just for the heck of it makes you feel beautiful, then do it. Believe in yourself that you are still the same woman. You might need to dig around a little bit, but she’s still there!
I know you don’t do this enough because you’re a mama. But hello, it’s time you show yourself some lovin’ and be freaking kind to yourself. Take a shower. Do something different with your hair for once. Shave your legs (remember, that’s what you used to do in high school!). Do something for you today.
Speak kindly to YOU!
Mamas can be so brutal to themselves. They are the UGLIEST judges of themselves and never give room for any slack. Would you ever allow your daughter to have the thoughts you have about yourself? Heck no! I’d never let anyone speak that way to her, especially not herself. But mama, you have allowed negative thoughts to overpower you and now they found your mind to be their habitat. STOP IT NOW.
Stop trying to have the perfect household. Spoiler alert: it won’t happen. Stop believing that you can have the cleanest kitchen- also not happening. Stop beating yourself up for not mopping the floors today, there’s always tomorrow. But, give yourself a break today and commend yourself for stopping yourself in the middle of the crazy day and saying, “I am (insert name). And I can do anything because I am not just a mama, but I am a strong, beautiful woman!”
Start believing in yourself today. You are more than just a care taker to little kiddos. You are a woman, and a darn right beautiful one!
VANESSA is a crazy active mom to an 18 month old and soon baby #2. When she’s not blogging she loves to spend time with her family, workout, relax on the beach, and drink weird organic fermented juices.